I can't stop spiralling..

I’m trying my best..I’m doing everything ‘right’.I’m in the kitchen, making dinner, little J is whining because he wants cake, or he wants juice, or he just wants me to hold him all day every day with my third arm that doesn’t exist, dog JJ is looking at me because she wants another walk.I’m disappointed with how work went today, I’m disappointed with the way my hair looks most days, I’m disappointed with what I hear on the news every day.

I’m hungry and tired. My back is tight and really hurting, and I’m worried that I won’t be able to keep up with my strength training or running if the pain is this bad.

I’m struggling to remember my identity and grasp at the Angie I used to be before baby. Or maybe it’s not even pre-baby, maybe it’s pre mid-30s. Maybe I’m just getting older and out of touch. Maybe I’m not cut out for…

It’s so easy to get overwhelmed when there is so much going on, and it’s so easy to let thoughts spiral.

(There’s a whole science-y explanation underneath in the How it Works section - but first…)

One simple tool I use when things get overwhelming;

1. Say to yourself “How very HUMAN of me!”

You’re FEELING because you are a HUMAN. A beautiful, deeply feeling, complicated human.

2. Smile to yourself at how human you’re being

It might feel (very) weird the first few times, but it works. A small smile sends your brain a message that things aren’t as dangerous as they feel. Your nervous system settles. You feel lighter.

3. Do this at the FIRST thought, not the 5,000,000,000th.

Catching it early stops the spiral in its tracks and starts rewiring those old neural pathways. Tiny first-thought interruptions make a huge difference over time.

How it works 🤓:

When you move in a safe, controlled way, you’re sending signals to your brain that it’s ok, that you’re not in danger. Over time, that helps dial down those pain alarms.

Even long after an injury has healed, your brain can keep those old pain pathways switched on. That’s why movement becomes even more important: avoiding certain positions or activities can create more tension elsewhere in the body, which often leads to… more pain.

Plus, movement gives you a lovely boost of endorphins — your built-in pain relievers.

How it works 🤓:

Your brain is wired for survival first, logic second.

So when you have one negative thought - even something tiny like ‘ugh, I can’t do this’ - your brain doesn’t treat it as a passing moment. It treats it as potential danger.

Here’s what actually happens:

1. Your threat system kicks in

A part of your brain called the amygdala scans for danger 24/7.It doesn’t know the difference between:

“I’m being chased by a tiger”and

“I’m stressed because I feel behind today.”

So the moment it picks up a negative or self-critical thought, it fires up like an alarm.

 2. Your body releases stress chemicals

Cortisol and adrenaline start trickling in.

These chemicals sharpen your focus on the problem - which means your brain suddenly becomes much better at spotting more negative thoughts.

This is why one “meh” thought can become ten in about three seconds.

 3. Your thinking brain goes offline

The prefrontal cortex (the part that does rational thought, perspective, and problem-solving) gets quieter.

When you’re in survival mode, your body prioritises reacting… not reflecting.

So your ability to think clearly, reassure yourself, or zoom out drops.Which makes the spiral feel even more true and overwhelming.

 4. Your brain tries to ‘protect’ you by predicting the worst

This is called negativity bias + prediction bias.

Your brain goes:

“If I imagine the worst-case scenario, I can protect you from it.”

It thinks it’s helping.But it’s really just creating an avalanche of catastrophising.

 5. The more this happens, the quicker it becomes

Neural pathways strengthen through repetition.So if spiralling is something your brain has practised (thanks stress, thanks motherhood, thanks life)… it gets faster at jumping there.

But - and this is the important bit - the pathways can be rewired.Your brain is plastic, not permanent.